thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
