I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize