Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize