Cold hands, warm shart.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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