Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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