shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
