wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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