When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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