Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
