We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There r osticjed everywhere
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
