dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
