he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
