Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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