just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
