if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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