i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
