I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
