I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
