he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
