So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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