Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
