I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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