He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize