Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The struggles of a small town man whore
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
