Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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