I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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