shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
