the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize