her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize