tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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