Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Did we literally take a cab across the street
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
