I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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