which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize