Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
