did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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