I cockslap morals
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
