We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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