Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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