She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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