she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
