i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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