Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
