Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
