we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
