Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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