HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
