Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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