clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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