i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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