I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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