Non-Jews are for practice
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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