Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
