if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
