my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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