so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
