Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
