oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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