her facebook's as public as her vagina
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
