Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
