Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
