Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
